egberts:

intercourse more like yes of course

buckoftheirish:

tumbledore-:

gohomemccall:

my dad is a senior software engineer at Google
this is his work laptop

image

he takes it to company meetings

I’ve been told he has received many compliments

Marry him.

did
did you read the post

(Source: nbhcannibal)

ghostsfacer:

ghostsfacer:

just got back from the vet. you guys know what my dumb dog did?

he sprained his tail. from wagging it too hard. this is the stupidest thing.

image

theonewhosawitall:

lokithesnarkworld:

staff:

andrew-satan-hussie:

Man I feel really bad for the Tumblr Staff because I bet they aimed for Tumblr to be a cool, suavé, photographic place for artists but in reality it’s made up of hormonal teenagers who obsess over gay fictional characters, and can’t even handle the reblog button turning green to teal

IT IS MINT GREEN

image

I’VE REBLOGGED THIS TWICE BEFORE REALISING THAT THE STAFF SAID THAT!

(Source: andrewsatanhussie)

thatweirdcanadian:

myocardiac:

i couldnt find my headphones and its late at night

solution: get a stethoscope and put it up to the speaker with the computer on low volume

if i cant find my headphones what makes you think im going to find a stethoscope just lying around

(Source: glowwire)

  1. Camera: iPod touch
  2. Aperture: f/2.4
  3. Exposure: 1/15th
  4. Focal Length: 3mm

fartgallery:

aaliyahhhhhhhhhhhhh:

fartgallery:

throw it in the ocean

what if it’s the ocean

throw it in a different ocean

ripstudwell:

officer, I know I was speeding but technically u were too so I’m gonna have to arrest u please step out of the vehicle

(Source: nishlo)

(Source: shwagerr)

heros-of-the-bluebox:

sluttyoliveoil:

cough

rough

though

through

why dont these words rhyme

but for some god forsaken reason pony and bologna do

can-u-not-my-wayward-son:

suspnd:

suspnd:

suspnd:

my best friend just realized 30 minutes before her curfew that she’s an hour away from home in the most dangerous part of the city alone with the buses no longer running so she calls the police to take her home i cant stop laughing

update the cop that came to pick her up is a hot 20 year old guy thats flirting with her and now im not laughing anymore

SHE FUCKING HOOKED UP WITH THE COP

fuck the police

She’s gonna